It's 8:56 pm.
Tristan is in bed.
Screaming.
He was up at 5:30 am.
He has not slept more than an hour all day.
An hour taken in 5 minute increments.
I am at a complete loss about what to do.
He calms down when I go to him and hold him.
He "falls asleep" in my arms.
As soon as I lay him in bed he starts wailing.
I feel like it's my decision what to do. Brad is ready to let him cry but for some reason I feel like I can't.
Am I being a suck?
Or is this some sort of mother's intuition?
I don't know.
All I know is that my kid is screaming and I am exhausted.
Please let it get easier.
Seriously.
It has to.
Right?
2 comments:
I have three, ages 2, 4, and 6.
Yes. It does get easier. It gets harder in other ways, but the physicality of it gets lots easier.
you poor thing. that is awful. awful for you, and awful for tristain, who sounds utterly, overwhelmingly exhausted. which, paradoxically, makes it harder for them to sleep, and it all gets even uglier.
in terms of advice (errr...assvice??), i suggest (and it's just MY opinion- feel free to totally disregard. no one knows or loves tristain better than you) firstly, decide what you want to do. if you are prepared to do CC/CIO, than do it and stick to it. if you don't want to do anything of the sort, then stop it in any way right now. in my own, colourful, patchy experience of trying to get my kids to sleep, dithering, and doing both in a half-hearted way just confuses the poor kid more. one time you leave them, the next minute you're in hugging them and soothing them. it is understandably bewildering for a little mind. this is by no means a condemnation of you - i did exactly the same, and it's completely understandable! but i just think it *might* be making things even harder on you both.
Now, if you cannot bear the thought of CIO but need to get sleep sorted, may i strongly recommend Elizabeth Pantley's 'No Cry Sleep Solution' (try your library, amazon, whatever). Has proven sleep skills that do eventually work if you don't like CIO. Only drawback is that it takes longer than CIO (maybe a few weeks), but it should eventaully work for you and bub, and you'll both get uninterrupted hours of sleep. Best bit - (ideally) no distress for you or bub. And her tip on getting baby to nap longer is the most indispensible piece of advice i've had for my second born!
If you're down with CIO, then the best i've tried (and i've tried a few before i found this one that sorted it all out for us) is 'The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep from Birth to Age 5'. the system/technique worked for us quickly, and the distresse crying stopped very quickly.
Have a think about what you feel is right, then go for it! The vast majority of the time, sleep problems, sadly, don't solve themselves, and sustained sleep is a learned skill for babies. Different techniques will suit different parents AND babies (not all babies respond to CIO , for example, nor the 'no cry' approach), but you can do it. Hang in there. Let us know how it all goes!
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